Season of Feelings

Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC is a Relationship Therapist and founder Space Between Counseling Services in Baltimore City, Maryland. 

Susan works with Type A’s ---> Creatives as they balance schedules, stress, and the modern challenges of coupleship.

Specializing in counseling for individuals and couples using Stan Tatkin’s PACT approach, Susan helps you move through the muck of life and into a life of purpose and connection.

It’s that time of year again. Holidays are in clear sight in all areas of life.
 

I get that this time of year is hard on many people.
Due to traumatic events, difficult family and/or events linked to this season - many people feel less than { Deep Gratitude, Joyful & Happy } in the days between November --> January.

#Holidays are a rough time of year for many people due to one reason or another.

So, what can we do it about it? Jaime Stacks @jamielstacks has a one formula to stop this “crazy train” that speeds through the holidays for some of us.

It starts with setting your intentions.

Using intentions {PLUS} the therapeutic idea of "Re-Storying" we can alter our current experiences in this “NOW” space of the season compared to the “THEN” space of previous sadness, harm and voids of previous seasons.

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{F I V E}  Mindfulness tips to jump-start your Holiday Self-Care}
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[ONE] Set intentions every morning
[TWO] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for yourself
[THREE] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for loved ones -- family + friends and mentors
[FOUR] Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
[FIVE] Gratitude Journal

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Photo by Estée Janssens on @Unsplash
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What does a "Foxhole" have to do with Couples Work?

Partners can be helped immensely by having an "owners manual" for each other and their relationship.

Does your relationship have one in place? 

Part of that "owners manual" or being an "expert on your partner" can be created by using the principles in the Couple Bubble by Dr. Stan Tatkin. 

It's like being in a "fox hole" together and having each others back consistently both privately and publicly.

Does your partner have YOUR back and YOU, theirs?

Are you struggling within your couple bubble❓

OR

Maybe you two need help forming YOUR couple bubble❓

Need Repair?

Stressed? Find your pattern. Find your lesson.
 

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A good way of recognizing patterns in your life is by listening to your feelings, your intuition. 

I’ve found that when I am involved in a pattern, my emotions run a bit stronger, kind of like a warning from my subconscious mind to pay attention to what’s happening.
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Many moons ago, as a young adult, pre-therapy, pre-mediation, pre-tuning in:: More often than not, I recognize the pattern (life lesson) when the situation had ended, or changed. 

Hindsight is 20/20 in this way. It can be difficult to recognize a pattern while it’s playing out. This still happens to me in present life. However, I have learned to better pay attention to MY patterns. 

Reflecting helps this. Awareness helps this. Time helps this. Being surrounded by caring and compassionate loved ones, family, and friends helps this.

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In life there will be continuous patterns and lessons sent our way. If we are aware and tuned in, we will learn to overcome our patterns and learn our individual lessons.
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The key is to be alert. When you’re open to recognizing a pattern, you can change it by learning the lesson, and in doing so, change your life. Equaling: less repeat and more JOY & Awareness.

You always have a choice.

Therapy provides a space to till YOUR soil. 

Everything you are feeling OR experiencing is rooted somewhere. Together, in therapy we prep YOUR garden for YOUR growth.

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“We are what we are because we have been what we have been, and what is needed for solving the problems of human life and motives is not moral estimates but more knowledge. ”

— Sigmund Freud

Are your habits empowering you -OR- are they getting you in trouble?

Habits: our manner in which we do something, our routines and/or customs. 
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How do your habits guide you? 
Inspire you? 
Limit you?

 

“You cannot change your future. But you can change your habits and surely your habits will change your future.” ”

— A.P.J. Abdul Kalam

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How are YOUR Relationships, going?

:: Are you struggling to be heard, understood and/or connected in your relationships? ::

If this feels familiar? Ask yourself... "am I fully available for authentic connection(s) with those I value and love?" 

Fact is: 
Relationships are harder in modern life because "conversations" become texting, arguments become emails and feelings become social media statuses. ::
If this is something you desire to change - small habitual patterns need to be altered.
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Start by scheduling face to face time with friends + your loved ones.
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If "face to face" is not ideal due to modern day obstacles of space & time --- schedule a phone call that is uninterrupted by distractions, noise, and multitasking. Hold space for this moment of connection. It's amazing what a meaningful conversation can do for our lives, moods, and relationships.
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Bottom-line: we're a distracted society that desires more connection. ::
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Be the {{Change}} in YOUR connection(S) + Relationship(S).